During the past few months as we sit waiting to get back to some kind of new beginnings, I have had time to look back at my life.
I was so busy just going on and on I never had time to actually pat myself on the back and reflect for my many accomplishments.
I finally had the time, so I began journaling my life’s journey as I had so much to give back and share my story and what a perfect time since so many of us are feeling lost and out of control in this uncertain and ever changing time.
In 2006, my life was good and I never thought it could have gone any better, I had it all.
I rebuilt a better relationship with my mother after many years of strain and hardships.
I was working in a job that successful and brought me the perks of a luxury car, a great downtown apartment, lots of great friends and very social calendar and my health was in check (Crohn's disease was at bay without any hospitalization in many years). A Perfect World.
One beautiful spring afternoon I went to a luxury hotel alone; always the confident woman to go out on her own, and I ordered a drink from a courteous waiter who gave me great service. I was just so happy, the sun was shining and I just felt so blessed to be healthy, happy and independent.
On my way home that glorious afternoon I looked up at the blue sky, not a cloud in sight, and I remember saying thank you God. I am the luckiest person today to be so blessed with my life. Little did I know what was coming for me.
The next day I got a call that my Mom was not well and she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, in shock I immediately called her and spent the next few days with her.
We talked about so much as if she wanted to leave this world peacefully and forgiven of her actions and have no regrets. A cleansing of her sins. She reminded me of the many good times we shared, and she reminisced of things that had happened between us that were not my fault and admitting the punishments never fit the crimes. She regretted being too tough on me and reassured me that I was the best daughter a mother could ask for, so proud and she wanted to instill strength and love to me the tough way but ended up coming off selfish when she was running off and leaving me alone during my young and impressionable years.
I told her I agreed that growing up with her as my mother was difficult and hard, having a selfish, single, entrepreneur mother who left me alone traveling for business at the worst of times where I felt abandoned making me feel unwanted and unloved only to realize that she did it for us and kept a roof over our heads doing her job of keeping us safe. That was her security and she was mine. She did her best and did it for her children.
I told her I would not be the woman I was today without those challenges that I am was truly the luckiest woman because she as a great strong mother, a perfect role model, who taught me many lessons. We cried together and a few days later she passed away. I reflect of this time every day it stays with me forever in my heart. I love you Mom.
A few weeks after losing her I walked into my office and heard we were merging with our competition, a knife went through my heart and I could not feel my knees, I had a bad feeling and my intuition never lied to me.
After the merger it did not work out in my favor as I had taken most of their biggest clients from them so they made it their mission to make it a living hell for me and it ended up that I had to be hospitalized for my Crohn's from all the stress and pressure. As a result I took a year off to get better as per doctors’ orders.
It made me question what was my purpose in life and I could not believe what had happened to me in that year, what was next?
During the COVID19 Quarantine; weeks of isolation these past months brought back these dark times reminding me of how I felt, no mother, no job, all my friends were busy with their lives and I was never good at asking anyone for help.
When I was finally better I remember leaving the hospital and sitting on a park bench for hours asking God what has happened? What will I do? How will I pay my bills? What is next for me? The same questions most people are asking themselves right now.
I just kept asking what purpose do I have now? I finally heard a little voice and it told me to look back on my journey and I would find the answers and sure enough I looked back and in a blink of an eye I saw clarity and all the things I was doing for fun and gave me joy, and I knew could make a career out of it.
I loved organizing parties and was so good at bringing people together, making introductions, so many over the years and by doing so had brought so many of my friends to meeting their soulmates and most were still very much in love.
I decided to put this into a business and quickly started calling a lawyer to make a contract that would stick and be official. My first events were in the Gay community because I was so well received and never felt alone there. "The Village" (in Montreal) always had something going on, so I asked bars and restaurants if I could do events. I was given the thumbs up and carte blanche, my journey began on my new path but always aware that my health was not the best and I was super skinny; a sign of my illness, but I knew that I had no choice, I had to pay the bills. I knew I had to also find other ways to make more income to keep up to the lifestyle I deserved. I did anything that I could (even helped as a waitress at parties) not caring what people thought. I was going to get myself up and get on with the next chapter of my life to success. Why would I even care about what was said about me, this was my life and I was in control of it. No one was looking after me and I was on my own now.
I was meeting wonderful people yet I just felt that people needed something more than an event or party, there was a niche market of lifestyle coaching. That extra help with styling and advice could make others be their best self and, in the process, meet someone with a clearer mind and make better choices for meeting a life partner. Soulmates was what they all wanted!
That is when I knew that this was my calling, I was a Matchmaker it was the era of Match.com. Not me, not a dating service. I knew what men and women wanted with the many years of working in mens and womens fashion most of my life and having great people skills.
I thought about how I could make someone look and feel there very best. I truly knew how to do that. It was a gift that was in me and came at a time that I needed to feel good too. It was the best timing.
I wanted to be a Lifestyle Coach/Matchmaker this way I could share my tricks of the trade and guide potential clients looking for love. I could give them the strength by giving them the confidence and guidance to help them to be their best self and put them on the right path. Not just looking for a tall dark and handsome or blond blue eye blond with big boobs.
You need to have a partner that you both don’t feel like you settled for and you need have the same goals, values and respect of each other, while still being attracted to each other and feeling that this could be the one.
The good news is that I was good at putting the right connections together and making matches probably 99 percent of my success stories would never have ever picked each other or ever met had they merely judged the match on a photograph. I help guide the process and made a good match. I have a gift and intuitively know if it’s a good fit.
Right now I have decided to put things on hold since I don’t think the timing is right to meet someone when you're lonely and your life is full of uncertainty. There is so much going on in the world if you are single and alone, especially if you’re are feeling sad, angry and confused about what’s next. Not the best time to be meeting someone. You need to work on yourself. But I know we will soon all bounce back better than ever.
I can tell , I feel everyone wants change, more kindness and I am personally experiencing so many people sending me emails thanking me for matching them together that they could not imagine being completely alone today in these uncertain times and many asking me for advice as well.
I am suggesting to a lot of people to take this time and really get to know yourself, make changes and better yourself. Ask yourself what have I achieved over these last months? Did I only just watch Netflix and eat too much? A lot of us worked harder than ever to survive and be ready for our future. We need to get back to making a better world and stronger community by supporting our local businesses, ordering Canadian goods and going to restaurants again and giving a bigger tip to a waiter/waitress who did not work for three months. Little acts of kindness go a long way. Give back in small ways.
I have also been recommending the good book called Judgment Detox by the most incredible woman, Gabby Bernstein she shared a journey similar to mine. We both love helping others by giving the people the right tools and it brought us both to an amazing place in our lives.
I can finally say that this process helped me heal, brought me to the place where people from all around the world have been reaching out to me for different reasons and I know I am on track.
I have decided to talk to my friends on the phone instead of texting and emails which I find exhausting and a waste of valuable time. Giving me more time to prepare for my bright future, with all new incredible projects ahead and hoping to create opportunities for others as well as I was blessed with the gift of giving of myself and talents to share with others.
If you believe in the power of the universe we are all being tested and I can tell you that I can sense we are going to be a cleaner, kinder and less greedy world.
Mass shootings, racism, and Antisemitism no longer has any place in this world. Change needs to happen. We are going to come together stronger than ever; no language, no religion or color will ever separate us again. We needed this down time to recharge our bodies and minds because we are going to make it better than ever. We are all in it together forever.
The rainbow that we see in our windows is a sign of the brightest future.
Ca va bien aller …stay strong be safe and healthy. 🌈