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©2017 BY SUSAN ALPER CONNECTIONS.

Copyright Susan Alper Connections 2018

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Self-confidence is a superpower

November 17, 2018

Change the cover of your book, so it reads your story on the outside.

 

We live in a time where pictures flood the airways, social media and beyond. Our snapshots are a postmark in time of what we look like and who we are.

 

The issue then becomes what WE SEE in the photographs we take of ourselves, and HOW those said images are perceived by others. It’s a pretty broad range because some people have little confidence in their outward appearance, while others are sometimes overconfident and/or unaware of some flaws that may not be obvious to their own eye.

 

Now ideally, we’d like to believe that it’s the inside that counts, but in actuality, the funny, successful, kind and generous qualities are not going to necessarily be captured in a photograph. So, we need to sometimes make adjustments to our outward appearance, to portray what truly lies below the surface.

 

 

Case in point, I recently worked with a man who seemingly had it all going for him but had what I will call a “mean tooth”, making his smile seem almost like a sneer rather than inviting and charming. It might seem minor or somewhat odd that this would deter someone, but this gentleman couldn’t seem to understand why women weren’t attracted to him, when, in reality his smile was quite unforgiving beastly looking.

 

When we had our consultation, I mentioned his tooth tactfully, and my client admitted he was self-conscious about it and needed to have it fixed, but sincerely thought it wasn’t preventing him from attracting women, thinking it wasn’t a noticeable issue to the eye of the beholder.

 

Seeing as how my goal as a matchmaker, life coach and image consultant is to help my client I explained that a person’s smile is the first thing someone sees when they see you. It is the opening scene to the movie so to speak. It sets the stage for what someone perceives of you before you even introduce yourself. Therefore, a “mean tooth” could come off as “mean man” in uncomplicated talk.

 

 

 

I made an appointment for him with a great dentist, who fixed his tooth and in effect created an entirely different first impression. Suddenly, he was receiving interest from women. Not long after he met his soul mate! Now I want to assure you, this man is as handsome on the inside as the outside, but clearly his confidence with his new smile was being projected through his outer appearance and thus gaining him a foot in the door.

 

In my line of work, I have met countless men that have been searching tirelessly online for a partner, and sadly the truth is it is your picture (and your smile) that represents you; it’s the opening statement before anyone even looks at your actual profile description.

 

 

 

Confidence is key, and it’s that star quality feature that can actually be captured in a photograph. Beyond that we do read a book by its cover when we’re searching online for a love interest or someone to connect with, so you want your inner appearance to reflect your outer appearance.

 

Let others see the whole package without having to read the entire book. You owe it to yourself to let your confidence shine through.

 

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