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ONE REASON WHY DATING “ONE AT A TIME” IS BETTER


According to Dr. Helen Fisher (a top biological anthropologist), the more people you date, the less chance you have of actually finding someone. It’s called “cognitive overload”. When you think there are an endless amount of possibilities, you are less likely to select just one.


Conversely, data shows that the more you get to know someone intimately, the more you’ll like them. ideally, if you can focus on what’s most important to you in the long-term, you’ll be able to filter people more quickly so you spend less time on bad dates and more time meeting potential matches.


Dr. Fisher’s data shows the happiest coupled people are the ones who can ignore negative attributes and focus on positive ones. The more you can focus on what is good about another person, the easier it will be for you to find a good match and ultimately, be happy.


“Focusing on the good in people is a muscle that needs to be exercised as much as possible.” ~ Jason Silver


Personally, I find if “I like” someone after a first date/meeting to want to see them again, then chances are I’d prefer to only spend time with one person to see if we’re in alignment and a fit for the long term.


When I’m enthusiastic about one person, talking or even seeing others feels awkward to me and becomes confusing.


Usually, it only takes a few dates for me to know if I want to give a relationship a shot. If I ever did date more than one at a time, most likely it was because the person I’ve seen the longest is just a placeholder until someone else arrives.


Now, if a woman I like wants to date others, it becomes a huge turn-off for me, and I usually back away … meaning, I don’t invest very much.


From my experience, if they are not as enthusiastic as I am in the beginning, then I tend to chase the feeling of connection which has never worked in the long run which is why I now back off.


What about you, do you like to date more than one at a time (if yes or no, why)?


Thoughts ….


Written by: Daniell Koepke


Posted on Facebook by Jonathan Aslay

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Copyright Susan Alper Connections 2018